Maestra por la mañana

Today I subbed for my mentor teacher the entire morning. Well, I kind of subbed. Our official substitute "training" was this afternoon so I didn't get paid for this morning and there was an actual sub in the room the whole time. But I did everything, she actually just went around and assisted me. I was really nervous beforehand, I just didn't know if the kids were going to see me as an actual teacher or not. I mean, I've been with them the whole time, but my teacher has always done all the actual teaching, I've only helped with things. But she was going to be out this morning, so yesterday we planned everything out and I taught the entire morning. When the kids came in, the didn't even ask where she was or make a big deal, they just accepted the fact that I was their teacher. It was so cool! And really, once the kids got there, I didn't have time to be nervous. It wasn't like before when I've just taught singular lessons and the actual teacher is doing everything and then there's a very definite transition to my lesson. Once they got to school, they were mine and they were mine until after lunch. And of course we were so busy that I didn't even have time to be nervous once we got started. And by some miracle, we actually completed all of the work and even the "if time permits" activities we had on our list. I mean, it wasn't anything I had actually created or planned, just the normal lessons she had prepared, but still pretty miraculous given my previous struggles with lesson timing. And everything went pretty smoothly. I was just so glad.

And of course when my teacher got back and had them seated on the carpet I realized that I still have so much to learn. I'm not sure what it is exactly... I've seen them be too talkative and not follow directions for her, and there were some times when that happened with me this morning, but there's a certain "teacher presence" that just comes with time and experience, I think. I definitely don't have that down yet. This morning everything went perfectly fine, but it was funny how I could just see a difference when my mentor teacher came back. It's like she has a secret control or calm over them, I'm not sure. And she makes it look so easy. But I'll get there. I'm really glad today went so well and I'm just really looking forward to teaching more. I think now is when it actually starts to be real. Our liaison told us that eventually when our mentors go to their weekly seminar meetings on Tuesday afternoons, they just won't come back. It will be all me! And things like that are just going to be happening more and more until our solo week. Crazy. This is real, I'm on the road to becoming a real teacher!

Triste

Estoy triste. It’s kind of ridiculous how sad I was leaving school today. Yesterday I realized that I don’t get to be there on Monday because I have class, so every week I’ll miss an entire day. I hate that! It’s not fair that my mentor teacher gets to be there every day and I don’t! So today I was genuinely very very sad leaving knowing that I won’t be back until Tuesday. I think maybe I’ve lost touch with reality a little bit. I just love being there so much. I don’t know why exactly, I just do. I like being there way more than I like being away. Is that healthy? I’m not sure. Either way it’s entirely possible that I feel so strongly because it’s new and it’s not normal yet, so that could completely change in a few weeks. I mean, I haven’t even been in the classroom an entire week and I certainly haven’t taught anything. I don’t know. I just can’t wait to be doing this for real!

El primer día

The first day of school

Oh my goodness I’m just so happy I’m going to explode! Today was unbelievably wonderful and definitely worth getting up at 5:30 in the morning. I absolutely love my first graders. I love them. They’re so cute and tiny and today most of them were super nervous and shy. So cute. I mean, we definitely have a few that will be challenging to say the least, but I think it’s just going to be such a great year. No way am I going to be ready to give them up in November. I just have to keep convincing myself that it’s a good thing we do three placements throughout the year, because really and truly I know I’m going to love the next grade I’m in too. I adored my third graders last year. And really these first graders aren’t even mine but they just kind of are because I love them so much and am making them mine. And I really like my mentor teacher. I’m learning so much. Today when she was teaching the class about procedures and all that jazz I just kept thinking, “I need to remember this! I need to remember this! It’s all so good!” Hopefully by the time I actually have my own classroom I will be able to look back and remember everything she did today.

And who would have known just how much you have to teach procedures to 6-year-olds. That’s kind of all we did. And we’ll do more tomorrow and just when they start getting the hang of it on Friday they’ll go home on the weekend and we’ll have to review it all again Monday. But that’s just how it is.

Oh and I got to have this whole conversation with one of the parents this morning in Spanish. So cool. More than half of our kids have Spanish-speaking parents and on meet-the-teacher night I got to meet some of them, so some of them know I speak Spanish. So today my teacher was helping some people and this mom started talking to me and was just like, “wait, you speak Spanish, right?” And I was able to have this whole conversation and help her and everything in Spanish. So cool.


But seriously, all morning I had to try my hardest to keep from grinning stupidly the whole time. I’m just so happy. I love it all!

¡Mañana, mañana!

Tomorrow!!!! Tomorrow is the first day of school! Hooray! I can't even believe it! I'm so so excited, but that's only just come on within the past few hours. This morning I woke up and if made me feel sick to even think about tomorrow being the first day. I was too nervous. I'm still nervous, but I'm mostly excited. We got to meet the kids and their parents last night, so that was really fun. And man are first graders small! Who knew? They're just little guys! Today, after our professional development stuff, my teacher and I stayed and worked in the classroom for a few hours. There's just so much to do! Even when you think you have just about everything done, there's still so much. But it's fun and I'm really enjoying it! Oh and we found out that one of our kids has a peanut allergy... So I'm pretty scared I'm going to kill him. Or that one of the other students will maybe. Seriously, those peanut-allergy kids terrify me. And then we found out late this afternoon that they added another kid to our class. So we have 26 now, woohoo! But do you have any idea how many things you make and arrange with students' names on them in the first grade? A ton. So then we were frantically trying to put this little guy's name on stuff and re-alphabetizing everything. It was a little stressful but I'm so glad we found out today rather than tomorrow. A lot of teachers had already left and all, so they might have a little surprise in the morning. And my teacher kind of looked at me funny when they told us, like she was afraid I was going to freak out or something. She was just like, "it's ok, this happens." I don't know if I had a scared look on my face or what, or maybe she's just caught on to how anxious I am, I don't know. I think my nervousness must make her nervous. But I'm kind of a high-stress person in general, I think that's just how I am. And I am really nervous, but so excited! This is going to be a great year! I can't wait for tomorrow! ¡Vení, mañana, vení!!!!

Lo alto y lo bajo

The thing about starting a brand new, exciting, high stress, long-awaited, much anticipated job/internship/year-long-interview is that there are bound to be a lot of highs and lows. On Monday, me and 11 other M.A.T. interns started at our elementary school/new home for the next 10 months and let me tell you, this year is going to feel like a rollercoaster. Because it already does.

Day 1: On Monday we met with our university liaison and after talking with her, the principals, and other teachers we left feeling excited, nervous, hopeful and very overwhelmed. And oh did I mention that we already wrecked the hallway floors? One of our new intern jobs was to decorate this wall in the teacher’s lounge and we were told that the sky was the limit and we could pretty much have free range of anything we could find in the workroom. We found a big, rolling cart filled with different colors of butcher paper. Perfect! Now let’s think, what’s the most efficient way to get a to be determined amount of butcher paper (on a cart with wheels) from one end of the school to another? Let’s roll it down the hall! So we were working on the wall and several custodians come in VERY, repeat VERY upset about this big mark on the floor leading from the workroom to the teacher’s lounge and were not at all shy about letting us know how angry they were. Dear interns, you did it all terribly wrong and it will take weeks to fix. P.S. welcome to the building. But let’s get one thing straight, this mark is NOT that big of a deal. Really. There are about a thousand other scuff marks all over the floors throughout the entire building, and this one is not that noticeable. But oh well, you live and you learn, right?

Day 2: We show up at 8:00 on the dot and our liaison is nowhere in sight. So we’re waiting… we text her… work on our wall display… call her… “Are you coming to the school today?” “No. (but in an, of course not, why would I, you’re not doing things with me today way)” Glad they tell us these things ahead of time. Then the principals come into the lounge and talk to us about our display. It’s too much, we need to tone it down. So we make it smaller. Principals come in again. Turns out by tone it down they really meant re-do the entire thing. So we redo it and it looks good. Principals come in again. Wow, that looks great! But add this. Apparently, despite the sky being the limit there is a very specific and somewhat predetermined way of doing things. Then, when we were in the library, we helped move books from one part of the building to another. But don’t worry, we were reminded on several occasions that we should just leave the carts there and someone else would take them because they didn’t want us rolling anything on the floors. Word spreads fast ‘round these parts. We also got caught in the middle of a supply closet battle and were pretty much told we weren’t nearly fast enough at doing things. Dear interns, are y’all capable of doing anything right? Needless to day I went home feeling quite defeated. Good thing we're all in this together.

Day 3: Huge and somewhat overwhelming district meeting. But despite all the formalities and being told to wear our very best professional dress, it was pretty much just a big raffle. Not quite what I expected, but ok. Then we meet back at our school and the principals and the librarian thanked us interns and told the staff about all the work we'd done. This is our first day with the entire staff. We pretty much shadow our mentor teacher through all these group meetings but most of us haven’t gotten a chance to really even talk to our mentor teachers. Hi, I’m Kaitlyn, your new awkward Siamese twin! But these meetings were much more normal, or at least what I was expecting. Then I helped my teacher in her room and we talked about what the school day schedule looks like and procedures and all that. I’m starting to feel a lot more comfortable about this whole first grade thing. And then while we were cutting out laminating stuff we got a chance to just talk in general. So I started to just feel a lot more comfortable with her and less like an awkward Siamese twin. Then we were leaving and I realized I forgot something in the library so we said goodbye and I went to get it. But when I was heading out she was waiting for me by the door and we chatted a bit as we walked out to our cars. She could have left. But she waited for me. So she must actually like me? Dear interns, WELCOME to the building! P.S. We like you :)

This is going to be quite a year! ¡Vamos!

Mis lugares

Mapa copado:

¡Pero qué calor!

So lately we've been enveloped in a rather unbelievable heat wave. Even Fayetteville is seeing temperatures in the triple digits, like 107. At 9:00 the other night it was still 97 degrees. The other day McKinney reached 113 and has seen almost three times as many days over 100 degrees than normal. There's no two ways about it, it's dang hot! But the funny thing is, I kind of like it. Mind you, I'm not doing a whole lot of crazy things outside, like running. Or working. Or playing sports. Or gardening. Or really anything more than occasionally sitting on my porch, going to the pool and walking to and from my car. But that's all I really ever do outside anyway. I don't know if it's because I'm becoming more cold-natured or our classroom is so dang cold we have to bring blankets or if the heat indices are just so high you can't feel the humidity( I do hate humidity!), but I would much rather it be 107 degrees than 27. I really really hate the cold. There's not really a point to this post, this heat wave just got me thinking. I'm glad I live in the South.