La Lista

Lately I've been pretty obsessed with The List. The List is constantly running through my mind, continually being updated, and often the subject of many conversations. This recent obsession is a list of school districts to which I'm planning on applying for jobs this spring. A list of cities I could potentially be moving to within the next eight months. A list of potential future adventures. Really I'm very open to anything the Lord may have in store for me. In my head at least, I'm very uninhibited. Reality may be a different story but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

The thing is, times are tough and jobs are scarce so attempting to break into this world with no paid experience is daunting. Nevertheless, I am one-hundred percent positive that God created me to be a teacher. So after years of waiting and practicing, I am anxious to begin. Anywhere I can! So in pursuing this dream, it just makes sense that the more places I apply, the better my chances are, right? So I've been building a list that basically includes any district that has the potential to teach in a bilingual program somewhere down the line and doesn't get too cold (with a few exceptions, of course).

Currently the list consists of 64 districts. At this point, the list is so big that I don't even know what my top choice would be, although I think I have a top tier of sorts:
San Antonio
The Dallas area
Current school in Springdale, AR
LA area
New York City
Miami
Denver
D.C.
Santa Fe

Altogether there's 36 potential districts in Texas, 15 in California, 4 counties in Florida, 3 in New Mexico plus Washington, D.C., Denver, Chapel Hill, NC, New York City and Atlanta.
Trying to apply to all these places this spring is going to be just a tad loco. ¡And quién sabe en que lado estaré para el año que viene! But whatever happens I'm sure it will be an adventure!

Tanto tiempo

Che, tanto tiempo ¿no? So it's been about a thousand years since I've updated this thing and so much has happened! I finished my first grade placement and what a roller coaster that was! Solo week was pretty fantastic (although that first day was kind of rough, not gonna lie!) and then that last week was so bitter sweet. I learned more than I ever thought possible from that class and my awesome mentor teacher and I miss it so much.

 Fast forward to fourth grade, what an adjustment! At first it was just really weird being in my new class because it didn't feel like mine at all. I felt like I was just a visitor and would eventually be going back to my first graders. But now, although I still kind of miss my first grade placement, I'm adjusted to fourth grade and loving it! My mentor teacher is awesome and super affirming! The classroom environment is really relaxed and I think everything kind of flows more easily. The kids are hilarious too! I don't know if it's just that I have more experience now or what, but teaching fourth grade seems to come a little more easily to me. I miss the excitement and movement of first grade though! For several weeks we practiced for their musical program about Arkansas and America and let me tell you, those songs are re pegajosas!! I think for about a month straight I either had the Arkansas traveler song or any of the 5 military songs we learned stuck in my head! My friends really loved it, I'm sure! Jaja. So much fun though!

 Whereas with my first graders I think the hardest part was handling behavior issues and making content comprehensible, with fourth grade I think it's harder to keep everyone engaged and challenge everyone. They're on so many different levels by this point! For our reading class, fourth grade is broken up by level and we have the 24 lowest in literacy. It was a real wake up call realizing that most of these kids read on about the same level as my first graders did. And it's pretty intense because in first grade, they're supposed to be there, and they've got plenty of time to learn to read. But with these kids, they have to learn now! Because there's fifth grade, but then after that no middle school teacher is going to take the time to teach these kids how to read! This is kind of their last chance, which is motivating and heartbreaking at the same time. I love it though! I can't really decide which I love more- 1st or 4th. I guess that's a good thing though because it means I'll probably love it all, and in the end it probably won't be up to me! Unless of course I just have job offers pouring in from all over the place, but that's looking pretty unlikely these days.

 It's pretty funny because my fourth graders are just starting to figure out that I speak Spanish. My first graders knew it because they had heard me speaking to their parents and such, and their real teacher was bilingual so maybe it just made sense to them that I would be too. But my fourth graders are really really surprised and I think a little weirded out by it. They look at me with these dubious or shocked expressions, and rather than actually speaking to me in Spanish, they test my fluency by asking me to translate random words. How do you say pencil sharpener? How do you say... horse? How do you say... student? How do you say makeup? So funny!

Which reminds me, just in case life wasn't busy enough, I took up two more jobs tutoring Spanish. One is for this group of about 5 kids, (2 of whom are the nieces of one of the 4th grade teachers!) and the other is for the daughter of one of my mom's friends (I tutor her via skype). But just in a time when money is running low, God always provides! And really, I would do this stuff for free just because I enjoy it so much. How great is life?!

 Also, winter is officially (well, not by some standards) here and I am not so thrilled! Next week we have highs in the 30s which is going to make recess duty oh-so fun! I need to move to a warmer climate pronto! Argentina is in summer right now, oh what I wouldn't give to be on the next flight there! But colder weather is kind of appropriate for Christmas lights and gingerbread lattes and snuggling up with a certain someone, so that kind of makes it ok. Things have been a little crazy lately, but I think I'm about to have a second to breathe now. But just a second because then I'm off to Nueva York and then it's Christmas break and I have to figure out how to apply to the 60-odd districts que me llaman la atención in the hopes of getting a job anywhere with bilingual potential or maybe just anywhere for next year and I absolutely HAVE to finish the last hunger games book or Erin will kill me and also my mom's getting a puppy for Christmas so there'll be about a hundred thousand wonderful things to do in dealing with that, I hope and then it's back to school! I'm pretty sure I'm becoming a pro in run-on sentencing but man, this life is just flying by!

Sabiduría

So first of all, I just cannot even believe how quickly these weeks are flying by! I just finished my 4th week of student teaching! It's going by so fast! It's funny to think that I feel like I waited so long for the M.A.T. and now it is just zooming by! One of the things I am continually amazed at is how many very wise wise people I am in contact with on a daily basis. I am so fortunate. My mentor teacher is only on her 7th year of teaching (which isn't really that long as far as teaching goes), and this is only her 3rd at this school, and I'm her first intern. But I feel like she is just this wealth of knowledge and every minute I spend watching or working with her I learn so much! Then there are my professors, who have worked with some pretty big names in education and have pretty much taught and done everything all over the world. They are constantly in the schools, constantly updating themselves on the latest research and strategies and pour it all into us every week. I actually feel like my Monday classes are worth the 7 hours we spend there because I'm learning so much! Although I would still much rather be at the school! And within our school, I feel very blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful staff. Our principal and assistant principal are very positive, friendly people and I feel like they have so much experience to share and knowledge to pass on. Then there are the instructional facilitators and literacy coaches who run all over the school filling all sorts of shoes and just know so much about everything. And then I am very blessed to know so many other teachers and former teachers. This past Sunday at work two of the women I work with were telling me some of their experiences in the classroom. And my roommate's mom taught in Fayetteville for a long time and first grade at that! And then there's my mom, who is one of the very best teachers I've ever known and is just so wise about education and student needs, and what to tell me and what not to tell me! I don't quite know how I wound up to know so many excellent teachers and experts in education, but I count myself very very blessed to be able to benefit from all their wisdom and experience.

Sale el Sol

El martes fue un mal día. No, realmente el día no estaba tan mal sino que la tarde fue una pesadilla. Last week I was thrilled to see that my first day alone with my class didn't destroy me. That it actually went well! Tuesday it was like they were a completely different class. My mentor teacher had her seminar meeting until 2, and then she had to leave to go do something for her new house. So from the time they got back from art to the end of the day they would be all mine. I didn't know until that morning, but I wasn't concerned. No prob, I mean, last week everything was fine right? I'm not sure what it was exactly, maybe a mixture of things. But take 25 kids that are more comfortable with school by the third week, afternoons being just crazier in general, and add to it that I'm pretty sure they've caught on to the fact that I'm not a real teacher, and you've got quite a nightmare on your hands. Or at least I did anyway. It was insane. In the first 10 minutes 2 kids had already changed their lights (not that they even cared) and even the best, quietest students were out of control. They whole class was so talkative and disrespectful. There was nothing I could do to make them listen. And that's pretty terrifying for a teacher. I mean, when it's a couple specific kids there are things you can do. But when the entire class just doesn't want to listen, they don't have to. You can only talk sternly so much and change so many lights. There's nothing you can do and you're kind of at the mercy of 25 6-year-olds. At one point, my teacher came back to get her purse and stuff and looked at me and kind of asked if I was ok. I wanted to say, "No! Don't leave, please!" And at another point there was an instructional specialist helping me out, but they weren't even listening to her that much. And I felt bad because she was redirecting students all over the place and that's supposed to be my job, but they just wouldn't listen to me! I went home and cried that evening. Teaching is hard. That was the first day I've gone home actually wishing it was Friday.

The next morning I was so nervous about going back, about having to tell my teacher what happened and not knowing at all how she would respond. Fortunately, she's wonderful and said just what I needed to hear. I explained everything and I guess she could see how upset I was. She just told me to forget all about yesterday, that those days happen and that we really have a tough group. She told me that the first time she subbed she went home crying. That it will be very different when I have my own class. She talked to the class about respect that morning, about her expectations and their behavior. And I'm kind of taking more of an active role in the class too. Still starting small, but there are certain things that I'm teaching each day and co-teaching with her. And throughout the day she just kept telling me to forget about the day before, not to worry about it. Teaching is hard, and there are days like that. But it's not all like that, and I will persevere. Because there's not a doubt in my mind that this is where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to do!

¡No es justo!

Este semana aprendí bastante bien que, por más que la vida sea sueño, la vida no es justo. I realized this week that I am very fortunate to have been born in the United States. By being born a U.S. citizen, I can pretty much go anywhere in the world without too much difficulty. I could probably even live anywhere I wanted to. But other people don't have that freedom. It's 2011, and I know my country would like to say that we've come along way in civil rights, that we support equal rights for all people. But why is it then that people from Western Europe can visit this country without problem and others from less politically powerful countries are denied entrance even as tourists? One of my very best friends has always dreamed of seeing the U.S., ever since she was a little girl. And, although I still don't think it's fair that she would even need a Visa to come visit for a couple weeks, you would think that as long as she met the basic requirements for a tourist visa, had all the proper documentation, and a clean background check, she should be able to fulfill that dream, right? Wrong. Despite being able to prove family ties to Argentina, a steady job with the Argentine government, a need to come back to finish school, financial stability and more reason than most to actually travel to this country (I mean the girl studies tourism for crying out loud!), she wasn't even given a fair interview. The U.S. embassy denied her the right to see places they brag so much about, simply because the interviewer thought she was too young, shouldn't be allowed to take time off from work so soon and because he just didn't like her. What is fair about that? Absolutely nothing. I think it's pretty cruel the way this country brags so much about how great we are to the rest of the world, but won't let anyone in, even to visit unless they come from a wealthy or politically powerful country. Had she simply been born in Italy or England no one would have blinked an eye and could practically walk right onto a plane. But because she was born in Argentina, she doesn't have that luxury. How can they dangle this dream over people's heads and just yank it away without even an explanation? How can we do that to people? It's things like this that make the rest of the world hate americans. It's things like this that make me ashamed to be estadounidense. So much for liberty and justice for all, huh?
However, she holds onto the hope of making it here one way or another, and I do too. She's not giving up on her dream just yet, and I'm here hoping that the people representing my country on that day will be better people than they were this week.

Maestra por la mañana

Today I subbed for my mentor teacher the entire morning. Well, I kind of subbed. Our official substitute "training" was this afternoon so I didn't get paid for this morning and there was an actual sub in the room the whole time. But I did everything, she actually just went around and assisted me. I was really nervous beforehand, I just didn't know if the kids were going to see me as an actual teacher or not. I mean, I've been with them the whole time, but my teacher has always done all the actual teaching, I've only helped with things. But she was going to be out this morning, so yesterday we planned everything out and I taught the entire morning. When the kids came in, the didn't even ask where she was or make a big deal, they just accepted the fact that I was their teacher. It was so cool! And really, once the kids got there, I didn't have time to be nervous. It wasn't like before when I've just taught singular lessons and the actual teacher is doing everything and then there's a very definite transition to my lesson. Once they got to school, they were mine and they were mine until after lunch. And of course we were so busy that I didn't even have time to be nervous once we got started. And by some miracle, we actually completed all of the work and even the "if time permits" activities we had on our list. I mean, it wasn't anything I had actually created or planned, just the normal lessons she had prepared, but still pretty miraculous given my previous struggles with lesson timing. And everything went pretty smoothly. I was just so glad.

And of course when my teacher got back and had them seated on the carpet I realized that I still have so much to learn. I'm not sure what it is exactly... I've seen them be too talkative and not follow directions for her, and there were some times when that happened with me this morning, but there's a certain "teacher presence" that just comes with time and experience, I think. I definitely don't have that down yet. This morning everything went perfectly fine, but it was funny how I could just see a difference when my mentor teacher came back. It's like she has a secret control or calm over them, I'm not sure. And she makes it look so easy. But I'll get there. I'm really glad today went so well and I'm just really looking forward to teaching more. I think now is when it actually starts to be real. Our liaison told us that eventually when our mentors go to their weekly seminar meetings on Tuesday afternoons, they just won't come back. It will be all me! And things like that are just going to be happening more and more until our solo week. Crazy. This is real, I'm on the road to becoming a real teacher!

Triste

Estoy triste. It’s kind of ridiculous how sad I was leaving school today. Yesterday I realized that I don’t get to be there on Monday because I have class, so every week I’ll miss an entire day. I hate that! It’s not fair that my mentor teacher gets to be there every day and I don’t! So today I was genuinely very very sad leaving knowing that I won’t be back until Tuesday. I think maybe I’ve lost touch with reality a little bit. I just love being there so much. I don’t know why exactly, I just do. I like being there way more than I like being away. Is that healthy? I’m not sure. Either way it’s entirely possible that I feel so strongly because it’s new and it’s not normal yet, so that could completely change in a few weeks. I mean, I haven’t even been in the classroom an entire week and I certainly haven’t taught anything. I don’t know. I just can’t wait to be doing this for real!

El primer día

The first day of school

Oh my goodness I’m just so happy I’m going to explode! Today was unbelievably wonderful and definitely worth getting up at 5:30 in the morning. I absolutely love my first graders. I love them. They’re so cute and tiny and today most of them were super nervous and shy. So cute. I mean, we definitely have a few that will be challenging to say the least, but I think it’s just going to be such a great year. No way am I going to be ready to give them up in November. I just have to keep convincing myself that it’s a good thing we do three placements throughout the year, because really and truly I know I’m going to love the next grade I’m in too. I adored my third graders last year. And really these first graders aren’t even mine but they just kind of are because I love them so much and am making them mine. And I really like my mentor teacher. I’m learning so much. Today when she was teaching the class about procedures and all that jazz I just kept thinking, “I need to remember this! I need to remember this! It’s all so good!” Hopefully by the time I actually have my own classroom I will be able to look back and remember everything she did today.

And who would have known just how much you have to teach procedures to 6-year-olds. That’s kind of all we did. And we’ll do more tomorrow and just when they start getting the hang of it on Friday they’ll go home on the weekend and we’ll have to review it all again Monday. But that’s just how it is.

Oh and I got to have this whole conversation with one of the parents this morning in Spanish. So cool. More than half of our kids have Spanish-speaking parents and on meet-the-teacher night I got to meet some of them, so some of them know I speak Spanish. So today my teacher was helping some people and this mom started talking to me and was just like, “wait, you speak Spanish, right?” And I was able to have this whole conversation and help her and everything in Spanish. So cool.


But seriously, all morning I had to try my hardest to keep from grinning stupidly the whole time. I’m just so happy. I love it all!

¡Mañana, mañana!

Tomorrow!!!! Tomorrow is the first day of school! Hooray! I can't even believe it! I'm so so excited, but that's only just come on within the past few hours. This morning I woke up and if made me feel sick to even think about tomorrow being the first day. I was too nervous. I'm still nervous, but I'm mostly excited. We got to meet the kids and their parents last night, so that was really fun. And man are first graders small! Who knew? They're just little guys! Today, after our professional development stuff, my teacher and I stayed and worked in the classroom for a few hours. There's just so much to do! Even when you think you have just about everything done, there's still so much. But it's fun and I'm really enjoying it! Oh and we found out that one of our kids has a peanut allergy... So I'm pretty scared I'm going to kill him. Or that one of the other students will maybe. Seriously, those peanut-allergy kids terrify me. And then we found out late this afternoon that they added another kid to our class. So we have 26 now, woohoo! But do you have any idea how many things you make and arrange with students' names on them in the first grade? A ton. So then we were frantically trying to put this little guy's name on stuff and re-alphabetizing everything. It was a little stressful but I'm so glad we found out today rather than tomorrow. A lot of teachers had already left and all, so they might have a little surprise in the morning. And my teacher kind of looked at me funny when they told us, like she was afraid I was going to freak out or something. She was just like, "it's ok, this happens." I don't know if I had a scared look on my face or what, or maybe she's just caught on to how anxious I am, I don't know. I think my nervousness must make her nervous. But I'm kind of a high-stress person in general, I think that's just how I am. And I am really nervous, but so excited! This is going to be a great year! I can't wait for tomorrow! ¡Vení, mañana, vení!!!!

Lo alto y lo bajo

The thing about starting a brand new, exciting, high stress, long-awaited, much anticipated job/internship/year-long-interview is that there are bound to be a lot of highs and lows. On Monday, me and 11 other M.A.T. interns started at our elementary school/new home for the next 10 months and let me tell you, this year is going to feel like a rollercoaster. Because it already does.

Day 1: On Monday we met with our university liaison and after talking with her, the principals, and other teachers we left feeling excited, nervous, hopeful and very overwhelmed. And oh did I mention that we already wrecked the hallway floors? One of our new intern jobs was to decorate this wall in the teacher’s lounge and we were told that the sky was the limit and we could pretty much have free range of anything we could find in the workroom. We found a big, rolling cart filled with different colors of butcher paper. Perfect! Now let’s think, what’s the most efficient way to get a to be determined amount of butcher paper (on a cart with wheels) from one end of the school to another? Let’s roll it down the hall! So we were working on the wall and several custodians come in VERY, repeat VERY upset about this big mark on the floor leading from the workroom to the teacher’s lounge and were not at all shy about letting us know how angry they were. Dear interns, you did it all terribly wrong and it will take weeks to fix. P.S. welcome to the building. But let’s get one thing straight, this mark is NOT that big of a deal. Really. There are about a thousand other scuff marks all over the floors throughout the entire building, and this one is not that noticeable. But oh well, you live and you learn, right?

Day 2: We show up at 8:00 on the dot and our liaison is nowhere in sight. So we’re waiting… we text her… work on our wall display… call her… “Are you coming to the school today?” “No. (but in an, of course not, why would I, you’re not doing things with me today way)” Glad they tell us these things ahead of time. Then the principals come into the lounge and talk to us about our display. It’s too much, we need to tone it down. So we make it smaller. Principals come in again. Turns out by tone it down they really meant re-do the entire thing. So we redo it and it looks good. Principals come in again. Wow, that looks great! But add this. Apparently, despite the sky being the limit there is a very specific and somewhat predetermined way of doing things. Then, when we were in the library, we helped move books from one part of the building to another. But don’t worry, we were reminded on several occasions that we should just leave the carts there and someone else would take them because they didn’t want us rolling anything on the floors. Word spreads fast ‘round these parts. We also got caught in the middle of a supply closet battle and were pretty much told we weren’t nearly fast enough at doing things. Dear interns, are y’all capable of doing anything right? Needless to day I went home feeling quite defeated. Good thing we're all in this together.

Day 3: Huge and somewhat overwhelming district meeting. But despite all the formalities and being told to wear our very best professional dress, it was pretty much just a big raffle. Not quite what I expected, but ok. Then we meet back at our school and the principals and the librarian thanked us interns and told the staff about all the work we'd done. This is our first day with the entire staff. We pretty much shadow our mentor teacher through all these group meetings but most of us haven’t gotten a chance to really even talk to our mentor teachers. Hi, I’m Kaitlyn, your new awkward Siamese twin! But these meetings were much more normal, or at least what I was expecting. Then I helped my teacher in her room and we talked about what the school day schedule looks like and procedures and all that. I’m starting to feel a lot more comfortable about this whole first grade thing. And then while we were cutting out laminating stuff we got a chance to just talk in general. So I started to just feel a lot more comfortable with her and less like an awkward Siamese twin. Then we were leaving and I realized I forgot something in the library so we said goodbye and I went to get it. But when I was heading out she was waiting for me by the door and we chatted a bit as we walked out to our cars. She could have left. But she waited for me. So she must actually like me? Dear interns, WELCOME to the building! P.S. We like you :)

This is going to be quite a year! ¡Vamos!

Mis lugares

Mapa copado:

¡Pero qué calor!

So lately we've been enveloped in a rather unbelievable heat wave. Even Fayetteville is seeing temperatures in the triple digits, like 107. At 9:00 the other night it was still 97 degrees. The other day McKinney reached 113 and has seen almost three times as many days over 100 degrees than normal. There's no two ways about it, it's dang hot! But the funny thing is, I kind of like it. Mind you, I'm not doing a whole lot of crazy things outside, like running. Or working. Or playing sports. Or gardening. Or really anything more than occasionally sitting on my porch, going to the pool and walking to and from my car. But that's all I really ever do outside anyway. I don't know if it's because I'm becoming more cold-natured or our classroom is so dang cold we have to bring blankets or if the heat indices are just so high you can't feel the humidity( I do hate humidity!), but I would much rather it be 107 degrees than 27. I really really hate the cold. There's not really a point to this post, this heat wave just got me thinking. I'm glad I live in the South.

Casi

Almost. In so many ways I feel like I'm almost. Almost there, almost ready, almost done, almost starting... Just 9 more days till I start in-service teacher training and then school starts just a week later! I'm teaching first grade for this first nine-weeks and I'm so excited! I can't wait! So I'm almost done with summer school, almost a student teacher which is almost a teacher. Almost there. I think it's goig to be a very intense, but very great year and I almost can't wait to see what's in store.

Mi querido Buenos Aires

So I recently (kind of) got back from a lovely visit to Buenos Aires. Due to some craziness caused by the ashes of that Chilean volcano, I ended up spending a crazy day in Lima and wayyyyy too much time in airports and on planes. But I made it, al fin! And it was 100% worth it. It's kind of crazy to think that I hadn't even been gone a year. It felt like so much longer. But also, when I got there, it was almost like I had never even left! I was surprised at how quickly it all came back to me. Even with some lost luggage and difficult dealings with LAN airlines, and my apparent inability to be in an airport without crying, it all was fantastic. I stayed with one of my best friends and her most wonderful family, got to spend a lot of time with some wonderful friends, visit some places I never got to see last time, and even learned a little Italian and made some new friends! Two weeks in Buenos Aires and I was in love all over again! I discovered a new favorite place-- Paseo la Plaza! Lots of restaurants, bars, shops and theaters. We saw an Argentine battle of the bands as well as La Guerra de los Roses, a hilarious and kind of tragic play. It was still hard to leave, but one thing's for sure- I'll be back!

Older por Colbie Callait

Good song:

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Wasting no more time
So much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah.......

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way now
If I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused, turned round
On and on, on and on
yeah yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Over my shoulder (on and on)
It's tough getting older (on and on, on)
Yeah, yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Argentina, ¡ahí voy!

Ok, it's official! I'm going back to Argentina this summer! I'm so excited, I can't believe it's actually happening for real! I just bought the plane ticket and everything, so no turning back now! I always knew I wanted to go back, but I didn't ever think I'd be able to go back until I graduated and had a real salary. But then, in September, I crunched some numbers and figured out that if I saved really well I could possibly go back this summer. I'd been saving a lot and with my new job I was planning on buying the plane ticket at the end of the month. BUT THEN I got the surf grant and they just put all that money straight into my checking account so I was able to buy it now! Plus, I'd been looking at flights (really probably at least once a week since september and more like every day recently. You could say I'm obsessed) and they went down like $300 today. So I just did it. I bought it! And then of course my bank put a hold on my account due to the unusual activity-I've never spent that much money all at once apparently, but I worked it out. So June 13-28 I'll be back in the land of tango, mate and fútbol. I still can't believe it's real! I'm so so so thankful and so excited. One year ago I was spending my first real weekend in Buenos Aires. Six months ago I wanted to go back so badly but was sure it wouldn't happen for three more years. And here I am today, plane ticket and all. It's real!

Antes que yo muera

Things to do before I die- in no particular order:

Visit all of Latin America
-- Argentina- CHECK
-- Uruguay- CHECK
-- Venezuela
-- Colombia
-- Ecuador
-- Bolivia
-- Chile
-- Paraguay
-- Peru- CHECK (Thank you, Chilean volcano that made getting to Buenos Aires this year nearly impossible)
-- Panamá
-- Nicaragua
-- Costa Rica
-- Guatemala
-- El Salvador
-- Honduras
-- México
-- Puerto Rico
-- Cuba
-- República Dominicana
-- Brasil

Learn French

Be able to cook something without using recipes- CHECK

Go to D.C.-CHECK!!!!

Go to New York City- CHECK!!!

Ride a subway- CHECK, many times!

Go to Greece

Go to London

Buy a pair of ridiculously expensive shoes

Ski/Snowboard

Ride a double-decker bus- CHECK

Go to Cairo/See a pyramid

Gamble in Las Vegas- CHECK

Get my Masters degree

See a painting by a very famous artist up close and personal- CHECK, Frida Kahlo, Van Gogh, Monet, Andy Warhol...

Go to a fancy opera

Make it up that stupid Washington Monument

See a show on Broadway

Go to every state- I'm getting really close to this one too! I'm just missing-Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North and South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin, Michigan, West Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine

Take an open-ended, decide as you go road trip

Sleep under the stars- CHECK

Go to a place where I don't know the language at all

Be a regular at a restaraunt or cafe- CHECK, a few places in argentina (including a starbucks) and the starbucks on campus

Own a pair of hot pink stilettos- CHECK!

Own a puppy- I've had dogs before from when they were puppies, but I want to get one and be it's true owner.

Buy a house and build a library (as close to the beauty and the beast one as possible)

Stay out all night- CHECK! Thank you, Argentina!

Meet one of my favorite authors

Go to an intense argentine football match

Run a 5K and or walk a half marathon- Ok so a lot of people shoot for a marathon, but nothing about 26.2 miles appeals to me

Fly in a hot-air balloon

Ride a train- CHECK

Go zip-lining through a rain forest

Ride the amtrak

Teach in an urban high poverty level school

Live in a really big city (Ok so I've already done this but I want to do it again)

Go paragliding and/or bugee jumping

Publish a book

Go rock climbing on real rocks

Experience a surprise party and be really surprised

Vote on one of those shows (like american idol) where the audience decides who stays and who goes - CHECK!! Live to Dance!

Make a canvas painting good enough to hang up in my house/apartment

See more than a foot of snow- CHECK! Snowstorm 2011

Fall in love

Hace un año...

Hace un año desde que aterricé en Buenos Aires por la primera vez. Justo en este día del año pasado, estaba embarcando en una aventura que cambiaría mi vida para siempre. Me estaba enamorando en serio y no tenía ningún idea. No lo puedo creer.

One year ago today my plane touched down in Buenos Aires for the first time. On this very day, last year, I was embarking on an adventure that would change my life forever. I was falling in love for real and I didn't even know it. I can't believe that this much time has passed. I also can't believe that just over a year ago I had never even been to Argentina. I didn't know or think about any of the wonderful people that I came to know and love so well. I spoke Spanish without saying vos, something that now comes so naturally. I remember being at home, excited but terrified at the same time. When I finally found out who my host mom was and where I'd be living, it all suddenly seemed so real. Yet really I didn't have a clue about what it would all be like. I had never eaten an empanada or an alfajor and I had certainly never been to an asado. I had never lived by myself. I'd never taken a city bus or subway (the DART rail does not count, lol). I had never given tango a second thought. I had never stayed in a hostel, I had never been to a club. I had never ridden 16 hours on a double decker bus, haha. I'd never pronounced calle, cah-shay or anything else with a porteño accent. I had never gotten a C. I had never walked home from school. I still thought the food would be kind of like mexican food. Oh how wrong I was, hahaha. I'd never gotten to live in Spanish. Mostly I had never fallen in love with another culture. I have two friends that are starting their Buenos Aires study abroad experiences today, also with ISA and I'm so jealous. I miss it so so so much. And I don't even know what in particular I miss so much. Just all of it together I think. And it's funny because I know that even my experience there wasn't perfect. There are definitely things I wasn't crazy about and things I missed from home, but nevertheless, I loved it all. I kind of still can't believe how affected I was by all of it. Does this happen to everyone that studies abroad? ¡ni idea! But I do know that that experience, that city, that culture, those people truly changed my life. I honestly think that not a day goes by when I don't remember it or think about it or wish I was there. I'm so very much in love with Buenos Aires now that I can't imagine not ever having gone. It feels like such a huge part of my life that I can't even picture how I would be without it.

Which is funny, considering that just over a year ago I didn't know or love it at all. Well, maybe that's not true. I feel like really since that first study abroad fair I went to, I'd been preparing myself for it. And when, I really decided and picked a program and signed up, that's when things really began to change. All last fall, even though I was still in the U.S., so much of me was already in Argentina. I had always planned to study abroad, although I had no idea where I wanted to go (although obviously to somewhere where they speak Spanish). I wonder if it would have been different had I gone somewhere else. Is it just the experience of being on my own in a different country and different language that made it so impacting? Or is there something truly special for me about Argentina. I'm not sure. But I do feel like that entire trip was completely ordained by the Lord. Just the random way in which everything came together. People ask me why I picked Argentina, why ISA, why did I choose classes with only Argentines? But it's the same way I ended up at Arkansas. I just kind of picked a place, not really sure why and only learned afterwards how perfect it was for me. I had no idea when I signed up that I would be the only ISA student at my University the first two months I was there. I had no idea how unique my particular program was, I just kind of picked it randomly. But looking back, if anything had been different, I feel like my experience might have been completely different. It just all worked together perfectly, even with the things I didn't like so much. It was just such a perfect time and I miss it so much.

People also ask me would I want to go back and live in Argentina. I don't really have a very solid answer to that. I think I would absolutely love living in Buenos Aires, because I did for 5 months (and I could have stayed for so much longer). But at the same time, this is my home. This is where I've grown up, this is where my family and a lot of my close friends are. This is where I see myself living and teaching. But then why do I miss Argentina so much? In my children's lit class we read this book Grandfather's Journey, by Alan Say and I think it exemplifies how I feel. It's this true story of this man's grandfather and how his life and heart were split between Japan and the U.S., particularly California. It talked about how he would go back and forth between his two loves but when he was in one place, he would love it, but still always miss the other. I think that's exactly how I feel. But see then, in the end, the man dies still split between the two countries. Terrible terrible ending. I cried. I hope that's now what my life will be like. But I guess I'm also very privileged to know and love both places so well. And I know to be happy and fully enjoy life wherever I am. But still so much of me longs for Argentina. Oh how I can't wait to go back!!!! Sigh.....

¡Pero gracias a Dios que nos da la victoria por medio de nuestro señor, Jesucristo!
Unlike the grandfather in the story, I know that neither of these two wonderful places is my real home. This world and my life in it is temporary but what the home I have waiting for me in heaven is forever. Yay! So who knows what lies ahead. I'm sure it's filled with both argentine and estadounidense adventures, but thankfully, I know the best is yet to come!

Y ¿qué hago con tantos días de nieve?

Things to do on a snow day/week:

Have a Disney movie marathon. So far Chelsea and I have watched Mulan, Mulan 2, The Princess and the Frog and I feel like Cars or the Little Mermaid might be next.

Watch a whole cycle of America's Next Top Model

Train for the game show, Minute to Win It

Bake

Stitch up a favorite pair of old jeans that had a hole in them

Clean

Read. I've lately developed this habit of reading a lot of books at once.
So as of right now I'm reading...

La Casa en Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros -short stories and prose from the point of view of a Mexican American girl living in Chicago


The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley -an endearing mystery investigated by an inquisitive young scientist in 1950


Sushi for Beginners by Marion Keyes -cheesy British chick-lit


El Dios Olvidado (The Forgotten God) by Francis Chan- non-fiction about embracing the power of the Holy Spirit (from the author of Crazy Love)


Captivating- Jon and Stasi Eldrege- also non-fiction, about finding our identities as women of God

Catch up on Português lessons with the help of livemocha.com

Blog (note that most of the 2011 entries have occurred within the past couple of days)

Go sledding (Chelsea and I haven't actually been sledding this year-I don't know if our apartment complex is very hilly, but I have done my fair share of sledding in past years and I feel like it should not be overlooked. This year however, we've pretty much just gone two straight days without so much as undoing the dead bolt on our front door. Sad.)

Homework- Only for when you get reeeeeaaaaalllllllllllllllyyyy desperate

Una Canción

We sang this song in church the other day, and I had never really thought much about it but suddenly it just hit me that rewording the questions into answers by changing the will yous to I wills and so on is exactly what my heart has been praying. Osea, exactly what I want to be able to say.

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

Ventisca/Nevasca/Tempête de neige/BLIZZARD!

IT"S A BLIZZARD! Well, the closest thing I've ever seen to one (outside of Dairy Queen of course!). The university closed last night before it even got cold enough to snow. Supposedly before my freshman year, the university hadn't closed for weather in like 20 years. Since I've been here it's probably closed 20 times. Ok, not really, but it has closed at least twice every year! Crazy! But last night made for a really fun bachelor watch party (I know, the bachelor, but what can I say. Everybody has a guilty pleasure). The grocery stores yesterday were completely ransacked. It's like the world is about to end or something. Or a repeat of Ice Storm 2009. Today it hasn't stopped snowing. It's all just swirling around out there. Crazy! Tomorrow we're going to get down to -7 degrees. That's -22 Celsius! AGHHHHH!!! And three days ago it was 70 degrees and sunny. Is this real life? I guess you just have to roll with it and enjoy those snow days!

I'm really thankful not to have to wake up early tomorrow either, but I'm starting to realize that snow days are more fun when you're on campus. On campus, all of your friends are there with you and you can walk everywhere. It's fun having a day at home but there's really only so much you can do when you're far away from everyone and the roads are solid ice. Hmmm. Also, at this rate, I'm never going to finish research for my thesis.

And is anyone else noticing the trend of singers saying their own names at the beginning of songs? Is this a growing trend or have I just mostly missed it. Ex. Jason Derulo, Usher, DJ Khaled, Rihanna, Dev and the Cataracs, Pittbull, and the list goes on. I just think it's random.

Also, I finished reading the Pioneer Woman and guess what! The book is here!

So good!!!

El día más hermoso del mundo!

¡Qué lindo! ¡Qué hermoso! Oh my gosh, seriously every time I stepped outside today I was just overwhelmed with thankfulness for this completely beautiful day in January. It's actually kind of funny how much the weather affects my mood, and I don't think I would have ever imagined feeling so blessed by simple things such as not having to scrape the ice off my windshield before going anywhere. Lovely. Today was absolutely perfect. The most beautiful day in the world and I'm so so thankful for it. It was sunny and like 68 or 70 degrees. Perfect! I actually got to wear a fun new skirt I bought over Christmas break. I didn't think I'd be able to bring that out until May! It just felt like a perfect spring day. And even though every bone in my body knows that spring is NOT coming yet (it's supposed to snow on Tuesday), I was completely content to bask in this one perfect day. It would be fantastic if Spring came to stay, but right now I'm completely content to just enjoy the random teaser days of false spring that we tend to get in Fayetteville. Wow, that only took 4 years to accept! And I really do think it's true that it takes cold, ugly, wintery, dreary days to fully enjoy the beautiful ones. After living in Fayetteville, I really appreciate summer weather so much more. I can rejoice in the heat, which I never really thought I would be able to say.
Today my friends and I went out for frozen yogurt and sat outside at Wilson Park just talking and loving life. It was perfect.
So in honor of this wonderfully beautiful Spring-like day, here are some of my favorite things about Spring:

I love love love being able to wear pretty skirts and dresses! And not having to carry a jacket or a coat. You just feel so much more relaxed and carefree.

I love that feeling when you slip into jeans after wearing shorts or a skirt all day. The day is sunny and warm and then in the evening it just gets a little cooler but you can still wear sandals. Or also, when it's still warm enough to wear shorts but just cool enough to wear a long sleeved shirt.

I love being able to drive with the windows down and the music loud.

I love not having to scrape ice off my windshield.

I love going on picnics!

I love that feeling when you walk outside barefoot in the evening and the air is still warm but the grass is cool and smooth.

I love drinking iced coffee. Especially outside.

I love seeing the Bradford Pear trees bloom. You have to catch them at the right time because they're only in bloom for about a week but they're so pretty and all over McKinney :)

I love sitting outside in the sun in the Greek theater.

I love the cheerful, rejuvenated attitude that spreads with the sunshine and warm weather!

And I think most of all I love that spring is almost summer!

Random Pensamientos

Some random thoughts:

I wish there were a word for "random" in Spanish. Apparently we've taken this word so far from its original context that it just doesn't translate.

Also, I think it really bothers me when people or books make phrases more complicated than they need to be. For example, I was reading for my social studies class and the book said something was a more unstructured technique. Wouldn't it just be less structured? Maybe I'm missing it...

So... I've been reading this blog, The Pioneer Woman, and she has this story/book thing that is getting made into an actual book (and movie, I think. It's called Black Heels to Tractor Wheels and it's this fantastic true story of this woman who was getting ready to move from L.A. to Chicago when she falls completely in love with a real life cowboy. All in the course of like 2 months. It's a really fun story.

I went back to M29 and Cru last night. Except for a few weeks at the beginning of the year, I hadn't been in over a year. Which is strange because for so long it was such a huge part of my college life. But now it's just kind of strange because most of the people I know are gone. I'm OLD!! That's weird. M29, which is the leadership part of Cru, felt kind of awkward at first. It was strange being there with so many new people and me being one of the older ones but having not been there in so long. That's probably not really a grammatically correct thought but I'm ok with that. That's just how it was.

I don't know if it's just time away from here in general or Argentina, but I'm definitely different. I don't really know how, I just kind of feel it. It's really kind of funny how much that experience completely changed my life.

But I think overall M29 was really good. I'm going on a leadership retreat this weekend and I'm really excited about it! And actual Cru was fantastic. It was just completely refreshing to be in a room with so many other people just all wholeheartedly worshipping God. And the speaker was my all-time favorite. It was such a wonderful evening and really just gave me renewed my perspective. So good!!!

Also, I'm starting French lessons tomorrow. YAY!!!

¡Que caiga la nieve!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! I love snow days! In the past 2 weeks I've been blessed with 2 lovely snow days. Today is especially welcome because I woke up at 6:30 this morning and found out that I didn't have to go to class! Hooray! So now I'm enjoying a lovely day indoors with my roommate before she goes away for the weekend. I'm hoping that today is the start of an ice filled semester. This week I only had 2 classes, fantastic!






Plus, the snow makes everything more beautiful and the cold a little more bearable :)