Nervios antes de irme

So on Friday at 7:00pm I depart from Love Field to Houston to Buenos Aires. I should be excited, but I'm not. For the past 2 weeks I have been dying to find out about my host family. I raced to the mailbox every day to no avail. But today I got an e-mail from my site specialist saying that if I hadn't received my information in the mail yet (I hadn't) here it was. I couldn't wait to open it. It turns out my host family is just one person, Miriam Grinhauz. I'm sure she is a completely fantastic host mom but I was disappointed not to to be living with an actual family. I mean, they are called host families for a reason right? But actually it's more than that. For the past few months I've been pretty chill about this whole process, and even lately when people have asked me if I'm nervous or freaking out about going, I've been pretty nonchalant. But it's like as soon as I had a name and an address everything changed. Deep down I know that this is going to be good and so much fun. That I want to do this, have always wanted to do this, and that this experience is going to grow me in so many ways.
I'm studying abroad with ISA, which is a very large and popular study abroad organization. However, most ISA students study abroad at the University of Belgrano in Buenos Aires. They take classes in Spanish with other study abroad students. For some reason, once upon a time, when I was completely out of my mind, I decided to enroll in the much more intensive study abroad experience with la Universidad del Salvador so that all of my classes would be with native students and I would get a more authentic experience. Now all I can wonder is "what was I thinking????!!!" I'm the only student from ISA attending this university. I'm living in the most-likely fantastic neighborhood of Almagro (which also happens to be way far away from the program office and all the other ISA students' houses), and I'm getting ready to move to a country where I don't even speak the language! All by myself! What was I thinking? In my head I know how good this will all turn out and that it's such a great opportunity and that I should be excited. But right now my heart is just not catching on. I'm terrified and feeling very alone. Probably I should just not go, quit school, and work at the preschool forever.
But one thing that I was excited about early on in this process is the prospect of having to depend on God completely and growing so much in faith. This is only the beginning and I haven't even left yet. Ridiculous. But I know for sure that if I didn't have such truths to lean on I would be a complete wreck! Truths like the fact that my God loves me and goes in front of me (Psalm 59:10) and that He will be with me wherever I go (Josh 1:9) that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28) and that NOTHING can separate us from God's love (Romans 8:38). Without this comfort I would be so lost.