A veces me pregunto, ¿cómo puede ser que esta es mi vida?

A veces me pregunto, ¿cómo puede ser que esta es mi vida? How is it that this is my real life? It is one of those extremely rare times since I started teaching that I actually have time to write and am in a mood to do it. But I was just thinking how extremely diferente my life is than what I imagined little over a year ago. On my computer I saw this page I had bookmarked last August that had links for schools to teach in Latin America. Remember that time it didn't matter where I needed to go just as long as I could teach somewhere? I was so prepared to go anywhere in the world that I think it's funny that God's plan was to bring me right back to my hometown. But now of course I'm so thankful to be where I am and I see little glimpses every now and then of just how perfect His plan is.

I don't know what I was thinking, thinking I could go off and start this by myself but I am so thankful to be near my family and my best friend Kaycie right now. And I'm so glad to be close enough that it's easy for Ethan and I to see each other. And I have this unique opportunity to be teaching in a bilingual program. This past weekend I got to be back with some of my best friends from college and I was reminded of just how sweet that time was. I miss it. But this time is sweet too.

As crazy and exhausting as teaching full time is, I still feel sorry for people who have any other kind of job. I love it so much that it's sometimes hard for me to fathom that other people wouldn't love it the same. My kids are fantastic and I'm blessed with 2 very small classes, making for a wonderful first year. Every day (well, almost every day) I see them and think, man, this is the best! However I am also becoming more and more aware of just how young and naive I am to the ways of the world. It astounds me how some of my kids have made it to the fourth grade and can't read or add. It hurts my heart for them. But then I'm also reminded how this is exactly what I wanted to be doing, these are the kids I always wanted and I understand that the circumstances are more difficult than I imagined before I started, but hopefully I can make some sort of a difference and positively impact these kids' futures in some fashion.

Fourth grade is the best because the kids are the perfect mix of hilarious and sweet. I enjoy these kids so much. But it's also a little terrifying because middle school looms just two years ahead and if the learning gap doesn't close right now it might not get another chance. I can't believe how quickly this year is flying by and I hope that the time we have is enough. I just have to trust that it will be.

The truth is that I can't believe I am already almost halfway through my first year of teaching! It doesn't seem real! Sometimes other teachers ask me questions and I think, why are you asking me? I'm not their real teacher. And then I remember that I am. So strange and so awesome. Everyday 22 fourth graders are entrusted into my care. I transition between languages a hundred times a day. I wake up in the morning and go to work at the job I have dreamed about and hoped for for so many years. Is this real life?